This morning at 7:30, while driving to work and figuring out the details of the nap I plan to take in my car on my lunch break*, I passed an expensive-looking but ugly car with about 4 people in it.  The person I happened to focus on as I passed was a girl around high school age.  She was smiling and talking animatedly with the people in the front, probably her parents.  The sun glinted off her lip gloss, and I noticed as I passed that her makeup was perfect.

And I was left to wonder: Where do these people come from?  When I was in high school, I did not wake up until I was sprinting from the car to homeroom, barely setting my foot over the doorstep as the bell rang, and it was a good day if my skirt wasn’t completely hiked up under my backpack so that my entire, entire, absolutely whole entire panties were exposed as I ran down the sidewalk, through the halls, and from the front of the classroom to the back, until a kind, kind soul came up and stood behind me and whispered, "Marcy, we have an emergency."  Yes, that really actually happened.  But anyway, until I started driving myself, I would sit in the backseat, all curled up for warmth, dozing and likely eating and/or spilling a bowl of ceareal, while my mom sped through yellow/orange/red/it’s-all-in-the-interpretation lights and careened around hairpin turns.  Makeup was applied in homeroom.  Otherwise that half hour sitting in a classroom was pointless, right? Why miss 15 minutes of sleep, then just sit there in homeroom doing nothing?  Showers were taken the night before, the snooze button was hit a ridiculous number of times, loud complaints were uttered when forced by a parent to finally sit up, wash face, brush teeth, throw on clothes, and stumble bleary-eyed to the car. 

Even now, I do the bare minimum of getting-ready-before-leaving to maximize sleep.  I shower and lay out my outfit the night before, I always put on all my makeup in the car, eat breakfast at my desk when I get to work, and on the mornings I do shower, have been known to dry my bangs by cranking up the car heater and leaning over towards it at red lights.  Who are these "morning people" who are able to get up and be fed, clothed, and bright-eyed and bushy-tailed before 8 AM?  Don’t they get bored on the commute if they haven’t left a significant portion of their morning routine to keep them occupied?  Don’t they realize that by a little multi-tasking (driving while applying mascara, for example) they can buy 10 more minutes of precious morning sleep?

Maybe it’s because I went out last night, although not even that late and I only had two drinks, but anyway I just can’t seem to wake up today.  Hopefully the lunch hour nap will help.  In any case, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am not, and never will be, a morning person.

* (I have a salad in the fridge so I can eat it before lunch, then spend the full hour in the car asleep.  The only kink left to work out is where I will park the car for said nap. The parking garage is far too chilly.  I’d like to find a nice spot in the sun so I can crack the window and get a nice breeze without freezing to death.  I could go to the top of the parking structure, but then everyone in the building, including all my coworkers, could look down and see me asleep in my car.  Not that I care that they know, but I don’t think I could sleep if I felt I was being watched).


1 Comment »

  1. 1
    Wan Says:

    It’s all true.

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