And It’s About Time

A couple weeks ago something magical happened.  I composed a way-too-long blog entry about it, which I never published, because it was way too long and told way too many details that would have bored you.  So I am taking everything out and publishing this with only the most important fact: I saw Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

Yes, I will repeat it because I like to brag.  I saw Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.  I was with my friend Annie and some other lovely people at an inconspicuous little restaurant/bar in Hollywood, and in they walked.

I probably wouldn’t even have noticed them, because honestly you could hit me over the head with a celebrity and I’d be like, "doo -de- doo, what shall I order to eat?"  and you’d be like, "Hello, Marcy, I just hit you over the head with Johnny Depp," and I’d be like, "HUH?  Where?  Where’d he go?  Did you ask him if he wanted to father my children?"  But it would be too late and I would just catch a glimpse of, like, a piece of his hair as he walked away.  But luckily, Annie tends to be in-tune with her surroundings and immediately noticed the Simpson sisters as they passed our booth.  Conveniently they sat right on the way to the bathroom, and I was suddenly and mysteriously stricken with the overwhelming call of nature.

Here are my impressions, but first, you need to know that I am mildly obsessed with Jessica Simpson.  I’m not sure if one can be "mildly" obsessed, but if you can, I am, and I really don’t care what anyone thinks of that.  I loved watching "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica," and I think she is one of the most gorgeous, stunningly beautiful women alive today, along with Courtney Cox Arquette.  I really can’t get enough of her, and I’ve been anxiously awaiting the time when I would see her out, as it was really inevitable. 

As I passed, Jessica looked right at me (yes, eye contact, my friends), and she was smacking her gum so hard I thought all of her energy and concentration must be going into killing that beast, the Gum, in her mouth.  She looked fantastic, of course, and I thought she looked a lot younger than she does on TV and in pictures — maybe because of the comically over-exaggerated gum chomping, I don’t know.  Ashlee actually looked way cuter in person than on TV, and a couple times throughout the evening I mistook her for Jessica on first glance.  I probably would have judged her way more harshly if that Canada/McDonalds incident had already happened, but it hadn’t, so I didn’t.

Anyway, I finally saw Jessica Simpson, and now I can move on with my life.  Feel free to roll your eyes at me because I am so lame and Jessica Simpson is so shallow and isn’t even that pretty, and besides, you’re too busy finding a cure for cancer to bother with noticing celebrities.  Or, you can instead be thrilled for me and maybe a little jealous, or, as will probably happen in most cases, you can just not care either way.  But whichever opinion you choose, I saw Jessica Simpson!