No Place Like Home

So, my August-September-October Travel-a-thon is almost over, and not a moment too soon.  Jeff and I returned on Tuesday from spending 3 weeks in Barcelona, and are you ready for this?  From the time we left BCN to the time we landed at LAX, THIRTY-THREE HOURS passed.  Thirty-three greuling hours of travel on a janky US-Airways plane that must certainly have been made by Mattel, because every time we went through turbulance or landed or took off, everything in that plane rattled and shook and creaked.  And there were plenty of landings and take-offs, including a "whoops, we’ve been flying for an hour, but let’s turn around and go to Madrid so you all can sit on the plane for three-and-a-half hours while we fix three of the malfunctioning bathrooms.  OH, and it’s my last day as a pilot — I’m retiring — so I’m going to fly like a 13-year-old boy, swinging this way and that, just daring this jury-rigged, poor-excuse-for-an-aircraft to fall apart around us."  There was also a period of, "Well folks, we’ve finally arrived in Philadalphia, and since you’ve all missed your connecting flights, we’ve booked some of you on flights with other airlines, to which you will run at top speed through three terminals, slipping and sliding in your socks because you won’t have time to put back on your shoes after going through security, lugging two carry-ons and three bottles of expensive Spanish wine that had better not break or you will not have any gifts for your boss or your dad, only to find you  have missed that flight as well.  At this point, you will wait for a shuttle to the "Ramada Inn Ghetto," which will pass by twice but will refuse to stop.  Your boyfriend will sweet-talk the Holiday Inn guy to drop you off at the Ramada, where you will be greeted by a complementary selection of pimps and hoes gracing you with their presence in the lobby."

Needless to say, by the time we reached LAX the next afternoon we were ready to kiss the ground.  I’ve got one weekend here and the following weekend I’ll be in New Mexico with Jeff and his parents, and then I am going NOWHERE until Thanksgiving.  I’m getting really excited about doing things like grocery shopping and using electricity without a plug adapter.  Last night I went to Souplantation and nearly cried with tears of joy as I filled my bowl with clam chowder.

It is so good, SO GOOD to be home.


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