What is the deal with those moral lectures they now give us at the movies?  Do you know what I’m talking about?  Is it only in L.A.?  Every time I *pay* (lots and lots of money) to go see a movie, there is a commercial telling me not to buy pirated movies or download movies illegally from the internet.  It used to be that boring stunt guy.  They had that one in every movie for at least 2 years.  Now it’s the "You wouldn’t steal a handbag… " wannabe artsy / "Traffic"-esque, shaky-filmography one that’s supposed to scare me into not buying pirated movies.  My favorite part is when it says "STEALING IS AGAINST THE LAW" or something to that effect.  Like I’m going to be like, "Oh, it is?  OH, well, I was planning to stop by my friendly pirated-movie vendor on the way home, but now I won’t because this informative commercial has educated me on the fact that stealing is against the law."  Really people.  It reminds me of the time in first grade when Cheyenne Ruddle’s cousin Amanda Garringer stole my friend Sandra Ramsey’s sparkly red pencil, and stuck it down her UNDERWEAR!  — It was the kind of pencil with all the little leads that you take out the front and stick in the back when they get dull, pushing a fresh, sharp lead to the front — Sparkly_pencils and I was like, "Sandra, you should call the police.  Stealing is against the law!"  And she was like, "Yeah, we could say Cheyenne Ruddle’s cousin (because at the time we couldn’t remember that her name was Amanda Garringer, b/c she was new) stole my pencil, and put it in her UNDERWEAR."  "Yeah!" I said.  We were all set to call the cops that afternoon, and they would totally have busted Cheyenne Ruddle’s cousin, because STEALING IS AGAINST THE LAW, but I think Miss Cole took care of the problem before we made it that far.  Anyway, come on.  Don’t you think you’re preaching to the chior just a little bit?  I mean, we all paid $11.75 to get into the blasted movie and have already been subjected to 1/2 hr. of commercials and are about to sit through 1/2 hr. of previews.  Spare us.  Please.  Please please please please please. 


1 Comment »

  1. 1
    Maox Says:

    People like Cheyenne Ruddle are ERODING THE MORAL FABRIC OF THIS GREAT NATION!


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